


You will feel my every fear

by Ellstra



Series: Huxloween [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Light Angst, M/M, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 10:07:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8201293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellstra/pseuds/Ellstra
Summary: The walls are closing in on Hux and he can't breathe. He doesn't know where he is, or why, but it's probably Kylo's fault.It's definitely Kylo's fault and Kylo hates himself for it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt Meta Horror of Huxloween.  
> Name is from the song Say Hello Melancholia because I'm obsessed with it rn.

“Ren, this is not funny,” Hux screams. The room is cold, absolutely dark and as far as Hux knows – and he hopes it's true – empty.

“Let me out okay,” he shouts again, “I get it, you scared me, I'm scared. Now let me out.”

There's only silence in answer. Hux makes a few small steps, tentatively, and waves his arms in front of him not to hit himself if there’s something in his way.

“I know I shouldn't have made fun of horror movies, I didn't know they were so important. Is there going to be a monster in here? Or a maniac trying to kill me?”

Hux reaches the wall and runs his hands along it, trying to puzzle out its material.

“Or will I be given a choice to go into a corridor that looks suspicious and expected to be stupid enough to do it?”

The walls are even, smooth, there's no opening – doors, windows or even a vent. Hux reaches up towards the ceiling but he can't find it. He's a little relieved although he wouldn't admit it. A disturbing thought of walls getting closer to him flashes through his mind and his heart beats faster, higher in his chest. He hates it.

He doesn't say his next thought aloud though, stupidly, absurdly. _I hope there's not a hole in the ground that will get closer and closer as the room gets smaller._

_Fuck, I really did watch too many horror movies._

He keeps up his inspection. He reaches a second corner and he has a crazy thought that he didn't turn in a full right angle. He shakes it off and scoffs at himself for being so silly. Even if that was true, why should he care?

“Ren, look, there's no need to do this. I get it, horrors are cool. Now let me out, I need to go to work.”

Hux is still convinced it's Kylo doing this, it has to be. His weird nerd boyfriend who can be pretty scary and intimidating when he's displeased. Kylo is trying to teach him some lesson. Of course it's Kylo. He’s not so sure he’s relieved.

There's another corner and this time Hux is sure he didn't walk in an orthogonal line from the last one.

So what? Some spaces are not perpendicular. There's nothing unusual about that – or at least not more unusual than this already is.

Something creaks and squeaks behind Hux. He turns around abruptly, startled. He doesn’t even try to justify his yelp to himself. But it was a shock. He’s not afraid, he just didn’t expect it.

There’s scratching coming from another side of the room – how many sides are there? Hux blinks a couple of times, trying to force his ridiculously incompetent eyes to register something in the darkness.

“This is really not funny,” Hux mutters more quietly, his voice accented by a hint of panic, spiced with furiously beating heart. He moves along the wall again, hoping to find a door, a ladder, something. He remembers that one horror where a man falls into a world beyond mirrors. Hux thought the movie was incredibly stupid, even considering the genre. The only good thing about it was the ending. He hopes he won’t end like that. Or in an abandoned asylum. Abandoned asylums. How lame is it? Horror movies made it seem like America used to be one enormous asylum for the majority of the twentieth century.

The squeak pierces the air again and Hux jumps up a little. He curses under his breath and walks faster, groping up and down the wall angrily. There’s another corner and he only then realises he has no way of telling the first he reached apart from the others and he swears again.

“Fuck you, Ren, fuck you.”

He has a belt in his trousers so he pulls it out and drops it onto the floor. He imagines Ren watching him and grits his teeth. The emo kid is _so getting dumped_ the moment he gets out of this idiotic box. There’s a new sound this time and it seems closer than before. Hux hopes he’s just picturing it.

The air is getting thicker, hotter, like in an overcrowded room. Hux shakes his head to push the thought away – he’s alone, he couldn’t have used up that much of the air yet. Right? Right?!

A new wave of dread washes over him. He’s trembling, cold sweat glistening on his forehead, running down his ribs and stomach. His fingers are shaking. The air gets almost liquid, heavy and thick and difficult to swallow. He drops to his knees and clutches at his throat.

Something cold and wet touches his ear and he shrieks, using up the last bits of oxygen before he faints, two enormous eyes eerily, absurdly visible in all the darkness.

…

The tiles are an ugly shade of green, the floor a speckled white worn with many and more shoes smoothing it. There’s a red dot among the black ones and Kylo stares at it, imagining it’s a drop of blood. He thinks about a beaten up boy stumbling into the hospital hall, falling to the ground, exhausted, because his boyfriend almost killed him. Imagines a strand of orange hair, a little too long to be considered a proper boy’s haircut but short enough not to be a lock, falling into frightened green eyes. He imagines vertebrae protruding through thin pale skin.

There’s a middle-aged woman eyeing him suspiciously. He considers sneering at her, maybe reaching into his pocket really slowly to scare her, or pull at the tunnel in his ear to disgust her, but he doesn’t. Hux is there. And Kylo is the only one who knows about it. He can’t be dragged away now.

And he’s so angry. He feels like kicking the wall and tearing a shirt or maybe biting his forearm hard enough to draw blood. His head is still spinning a little and things are moving a little too slow, like in a low-quality Skype conversation when the picture appears a few seconds after the action itself.

Hux told him it was a bad idea. But Hux said that to almost everything Kylo proposed – to skipping school, binge-watching the extended Lord of the Rings movies, getting ice-cream in winter, nipple piercings. Hux hates fun. Or more specifically, he likes to pretend to hate fun. Or maybe it’s just Kylo’s charm after all. But he always says yes in the end. Kylo wishes he didn’t this time.

The woman looks pointedly away from him when he looks up and meets her gaze. Good. He’s not an advertisement.

Kylo checks his phone hours later. 02:37. He’s been there for eternity and his phone claims it’s been fifteen minutes. Maybe he’s spent the whole day staring at the wall, turning the woman’s brain into goo with his sight and hating himself.

_“What is your relationship with Mr Hux?”_

_“He’s my boyfriend.”_

_“Can you give us contact to his father?”_

_“Why?”_

_“He’s the emergency contact. Besides, Mr Hux is a minor, we always contact parents of minors, that’s the law.”_

_“They hate each other. He wouldn’t come.”_

_“That is not up to you or me to decide. Do you have the contact?”_

_“He’ll beat Hux up. Send him to military school.”_

_“I need to follow the law.”_

_“Hux doesn’t even live with him. He’s been sleeping on my couch for weeks.”_

_“Give me the contact.”_

_“Umph.”_

_“I am fairly certain the white Ford outside is yours. Now you give me the contact or I will be forced call the police with a minor who most likely drove under the influence.”_

Kylo stares up instead. He doesn’t think he’s done that yet. The lights are blind, burning his retinas and his brain. Kylo wonders if he even has any brain left. Maybe he never had one, there’s no real evidence supporting the theory that he did. He sees the tip of the spike in his eyebrow and frowns. It’s the dark blue one; Hux gave it to him for his last birthday.

_“I thought you hated piercings.”_

_“I said I didn’t want any. Not that I hate them.”_

_“Why don’t you get any then?”_

_“I didn’t say I like them on my own body, did I?”_

He should have told the nurse to fuck off and call the cops if she wanted. He shouldn’t have done that to Hux. It was bad enough. What he did was bad enough. But he was afraid; he didn’t want to end up in a youth jail. A queer in jail. Kylo heard the story a million times and it never ended well. Besides, the cops would just call his parents and then they’d be pissed, and he’d yell and his father would yell back and the cops would take him and then they’d call Hux’s asshole father anyway.

It still feels like he betrayed Hux. Again.

He really was a fucking waste of space and Hux should have dumped him long ago. Probably never should have started hanging out with him. Hux was a promising human being, on his way to top universities fighting over him. He would have probably already been out of high school if it wasn’t for Kylo.

_“I think people see a really weird version of you.”_

_“What does that even mean?”_

_“They think you’re this perfect student and perfect example of a ruthless businessman’s son.”_

_“And that’s wrong because?”_

_“You have so much potential to be more. There’s passion in you, but you hid it so carefully it’s almost impossible to see.”_

_“But you see it.”_

_“Obviously.”_

_“Good for you.”_

_“You’re the worst.”_

_“No, you’re the worst_.”

There’s a car engine humming in front of the doors. Kylo turns his head to it, his eyes still burnt out by the lights, but it’s not Mr Asshole’s car, unless he got a new one again, so Kylo bows his head again, his hair falling into his face.

_“It’s so weird that he has the same name you do.”_

_“He’s my father.”_

_“How?”_

_“Really, Ren? The biology classes were not graphic enough for you?”_

_“I mean, how can he be your father? He’s a dick and you’re…”_

_“Dick junior?”_

_“ - perfect.”_

Finally there’s a nurse coming his way. It’s a different one, fortunately. Kylo pushes the hair out of his face and stands straighter, still awkward with his long limbs. Hux once almost choked on his laughter when Kylo tripped over his feet. Of course puberty had to be gentle with Hux while turning Kylo into a volcano of hormones and bad skin and growth spurts. Hux was the same all the time until one day he was no longer chubby, the bones in his cheeks showed and he had to shave. Of course _Kylo_ only shaved once or twice in his life, out of spite. Of course Hux had to just turn out gorgeous while Kylo worked hard to do put some symmetry into his proportions.

“How is he?” Kylo gasps the moment the nurse reaches him.

“He should be alright but we’ll keep him here for observation.”

“Thank you,” Kylo mumbles, weight lifting slightly off his shoulders. “Can I see him?”

“I’m afraid not, you’re not a family member.”

“I’m the only family he has!”

The woman is staring at him again. The nurse is too, shocked by his reaction. Kylo feels like exploding.

“I cannot let you in, sir. Please calm down or I will be forced to have you banished.”

Kylo takes a deep breath. Clenches his fist. The light sizzles a little, the automatic door opens as a fly activates the automatic switch. He exhales.

“Fine.”

He stomps off outside into the crisp air, hands in his jacket’s pockets. There’s a dime in his left one. He takes it out and plays with it, thinking that he should finally learn how to do coin tricks as he promised himself he would in maybe fifth grade.

There’s another car and it almost hits him. He jumps to the edge of the road, noticing that this time it is indeed, Hux’s shitbag of a father. And his Cruella de Vil impersonator wife. _It must be Christmas_ , Kylo thinks grimly and scoffs.

They get out of the car and head for the hospital. Kylo wonders whether they’d notice it if they hit him. Probably not, with that tank they drive.

Kylo gets into his own car, plugs his phone in and scrolls through his music files until he finds the playlist he and Hux made one evening, feeling particularly sentimental. He closes his eyes and listens to the music, pretending Hux is beside him and watching him lovingly, like he’s the light of Hux’s life.

...

There’s a sharp knock on the window and Kylo jumps up slightly, startled and confused. He’d fallen asleep. He rolls the window down.

“Get out,” a gruff voice commands and Kylo does, afraid of what might happen if he doesn’t.

“I tolerated it when he spent time with you. I thought he’d grow out of it. But this is too much.”

Kylo is tired and dizzy and there’s someone yelling at him.

“If I ever catch you anywhere near him, I’m going to hurt you. I’m serious.”

Kylo blinks. The situation is so absurd he has to check if he’s awake. Hux’s father, his abusive father, is telling Kylo to stay away from Hux? And where would Hux live the past few weeks?

“I don’t care if you get yourself arrested before you’ve graduated, it would probably be for the best, but I won’t let you ruin my son’s future.”

“What future?” Kylo spits, “He doesn’t want your future.”

That’s not exactly true. Kylo doesn’t care. For the first time he realises they’re alone, at three am, in an empty hospital parking lot, and he sobers up.

“Right. Because he wants to do drugs with you.”

Kylo wants to say something sarcastic but he chokes on a sob that escapes his chest.

“Pathetic.”

The older man leaves then and Kylo collapses onto the ground, hugging his knees. There are tears in his eyes and he’s so fucking tired. He wonders if anyone even has normal parents, like you seen on TV. Or if secretly everyone has asshole fathers, or fathers that forgot the time existed when they turned 21. And most of all he wonders if this is all worth it.

_“I’m nervous.”_

_“Me too.”_

_“We should have watched a different movie.”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“You’re an idiot, you know.”_

_“Wait, I think I have an idea.”_

_“Behold the miracle!”_

_“Shut up.”_

_“Come here, I want to kiss you again.”_

Yes, it’s worth it. Asshole fathers and cops and bullies. Hux is worth it.

Kylo will throw the weed away though.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't pick too much at the legal things in this. Idk. I should have been asleep two hours ago.  
> Please leave me a comment? Pretty please. :D


End file.
